Chapter 47: Home

It is 8:00 in the morning. Soft sunlight slips through gaps in the drifting clouds that fly across the sky. The alarm blares. Sen is awakened by his clock, rolling over to silence it with a groggy hand. He looks out the window next to his bed. He takes a moment to absorb the sight in front of him: trees, grass, and warm light shining on the open blue sky painted by scattered clouds.

After a moment of quiet reflection, Sen gets up and changes into a navy-blue shirt and black jeans. He splashes warm water on his face, brushes his teeth, and heads to the kitchen. Dain and Yerah are in the kitchen waiting for him.

Dain: Took you long enough, sleepy head.

Yerah: Hahaha. He had a long day yesterday, give him a break!

Sen (slightly groggy): Good morning.

Dain: So, Mr. Chef! What’s cooking today? Any good surprises?

Sen: Hmm, I think I know. Can you check if we have anymore eggs left?

Dain: There’s a whole carton left.

Yerah: Oh, I did use some though! I have something baking in the oven right now.

Sen: What did you make?

Yerah: It’s something I’ve always wanted to make for you two. Cupcakes. Not just any cupcakes though. My own recipe!

Dain: I’m looking forward to that too!

Sen checks the egg carton.

Sen: I have enough eggs for this.

Dain: I’m so glad I get have your food again, Sen. Geez, I miss when you would cook.

Sen cracked the eggs into a bowl, then moved with quiet focus as he carved the meat, chopped scallions, diced garlic, and sliced tomatoes. He peeled oranges with care, cut crisp cucumbers into thin rounds, and set white rice to boil. Once everything was cooked, he arranged the ingredients on a clean white plate like an artist working on a canvas, each element placed with intention. He finished the dish with a light sprinkle of sesame seeds, adding the final touch.

Sen: Food is done!

Yerah: Geez, Sen! This looks so good!

Dain: And it tastes good too!

Sen: You haven’t even had a bite yet!

Dain: Yeah, but anyone who’s had your food before knows your stuff is top tier!

Sen: Eh, I could enhance it a bit more.

Dain: Whatever. Let’s dig in!

Dain dug in without hesitation. Meanwhile, Sen watched Yerah closely, waiting for her to take the first bite. She picked up her fork, gently gathered a bit of the food, and took a few thoughtful bites. Sen studied her face, silently hoping for a good reaction.

Yerah: Sen… this, is incredible…

Sen: Yeah?... you like it?

Yerah: Mmhmm!

Yerah takes more bites.

Dain: Told you it’d be good! When is it ever not?

Sen: Glad you two are enjoying it!

Sen begins to join in on the food. As the three are eating, the oven beeps.

Yerah: Oh, it’s ready!

Yerah pulls out the cupcakes from the oven. The sweet smell of sugar spread into the kitchen.

Yerah: Should we have these now?

Dain: Sure! Why wait?

Yerah hands a cupcake to Dain, then to Sen. Dain takes the first bite.

Dain: Ohhh, no way you bake this good! Sen, take a bite!

Dain kept munching happily on his cupcake while Sen examined his with quiet curiosity. After a moment, he finally took a bite. The first thing he noticed was the delicate crunch of the caramelized crust, followed by the soft, warm sweetness that melted beneath it. The contrast of textures surprised him. His eyes widened slightly. He was genuinely impressed.

Sen: Yerah, this is so good.

Yerah: Yay!!!

Sen: You have a nice crust on top, and the inside is so soft.

Yerah: Yeah! I sprinkle extra sugar on top so that when the cupcake bakes, the sugar will melt and harden as a layer above it.

Sen: Nice!

Dain grabs another cupcake and puts it on his unfinished plate that Sen made. He eats both at the same time.

Sen: Is that good together?

Dain: (mouth half full) Everything is good!

Yerah: I’m so glad I finally get to make you this.

Yerah looks at Sen.

Yerah: And I’m so glad I can finally have your food.

Dain swallows his food.

Dain: And I’m here glad I can just eat both of your stuff! Hahaha.

Yerah: Hahaha! You gotta make us something one day too!

Dain: Sure! Won’t be as good as what you two can make though.

Yerah: I’m so glad we’re here. I really am.

Sen: I am too.

Dain: Yeah, so happy this war is o—

Silence. Sen looked to Dain, wondering what he said.

Yerah: Yeah, me too. This war was—

Sen could see Yerah still moving her mouth as she spoke, but he heard nothing.

Sen: What did you guys say?

Dain: Daydreaming there, buddy? Nothing serious, just that we’re all happy this war’s—

Dain and Yerah are talking and apparently laughing. Sen can’t hear any of it though. There was just silence. His eyes focused in on Dain and Yerah, wondering why his ears weren’t picking up on anything. He was tensing up. His heart began to pound. His hands secreted cold sweat. His breathing stopped. Suddenly, Sen wakes up in his bed. He was dreaming. His eyes remained closed, tears lightly soaking his pillow. It was sunset and the warm orange light was beaming through his window, partially cut off from his black curtains that darkened the room. He stayed in his bed, just hoping he could dream a little longer.

A few miles away, Zarnem, Josar, and Esako sat around a dimly lit table at the Clyden Military Base, dinner half-finished on their plates.

Esako: So... any word from Sen?

Zarnem: He’s probably still at his apartment.

Esako: Poor guy. It’s been almost a full day. He hasn’t left since we got here.

Josar: I think I should go check on him.

Zarnem: No. Leave him alone. We don’t need him right now.

Esako (chuckling): That’s all you’ve got? ‘We don’t need him?’

Zarnem: I didn’t mean it like that.

Esako: Sure, you didn’t. Only matters when he’s useful, huh?

Zarnem doesn’t respond.

Esako: You’re cold. And I can say that now— since I outrank you.

Zarnem: Shut up. I’m still the one who trained you.

Esako (grinning): Yeah, yeah. But come on. That guy lost the woman he loves— and his best friend right after. And all you can say is ‘we don’t need him?’

Zarnem: I meant we shouldn’t bother him. He’s been through enough. Let him have space.

Josar: He hasn’t said a word since Krutone… not during the trip, not after.

Esako: Yeah. He’s gone completely silent.

Josar: Last time I heard him speak was back in Krutone… in his room… in the dark.

Esako: And we’re just assuming he’s at his apartment? No one’s actually seen him since we got here.

Josar: I’ll go check.

Zarnem: I said leave him alone.

Josar pushes back his chair and stands.

Josar: I’ll go anyway.

Esako (stretching): While you’re doing that, I’m heading to see what Jaze and President Kyto are cooking up with Virem. They mentioned something earlier.

As Josar turns to leave, Zarnem calls out softly.

Zarnem: Josar…

Josar: Yeah?

Zarnem: Can you tell Sen that… Never mind.

Josar doesn’t pry. Instead he leaves. Josar crossed through parts of Clyden, finally reaching Sen’s apartment. He knocks at the front door. No answer. Josar knocks again.

Josar: They said this was the place.

Josar knocks one final time. No answer.

Dusk. Stillness. Silence. A few minutes before Josar arrived, Sen had stepped out of his apartment, feet carrying him without thought down the familiar road he used to walk every morning in Clyden. It was the same path he and Dain had taken countless times. This time, the walk was one-sided. In his mind, Dain was still there. He passed the gym where they sparred, where sweat turned to trust, and bruises meant nothing. Sen paused, staring at the building. His face was still. Then, slowly, it cracked. The emptiness in his eyes deepened, and he turned away. Each step forward felt heavier than the last… and finally, he arrived. A house. A door.

He stood there, unmoving. His hand lifted halfway, then dropped. Tears built quietly at the corners of his eyes, blurring his view as the sunlight slowly slipped away. He waited long enough for his shadow to vanish with the sun, as if mourning deserved darkness.

Then, he knocked softly. He was afraid the world on the other side would confirm what he already knew. The door opened. He didn’t look up.

Arna: Sen? Is that you? You’re back…!

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. But Sen didn’t respond. He stood frozen, his body present, his soul shattered. She pulled away, concern growing.

Maren (gentle but searching): Where’s Dain?

That name… It broke something inside him. Sen’s chest rose sharply. His lips parted, trembling. Tears spilled freely now.

Sen (barely above a whisper): I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…

Arna’s eyes widened. Maren’s face fell. The silence after Sen’s words said everything.

Sen (quieter, cracking): I promised… I promised I’d bring him home…

Maren stepped forward and pulled Sen into a hug… a strong, protective, fatherly hug. Sen didn’t hug back. Not at first. His arms hung by his side. His head lowered, but when Maren held him tighter, something inside Sen gave way. He collapsed. Not physically, but emotionally.

His hands gripped Maren’s shirt. His face pressed against his shoulder, and he wept heavy, helpless sobs that sounded like they had waited too long to be heard. Arna began to cry too, covering her mouth as tears ran down her cheeks. She wrapped herself around Sen from the other side, a mother’s arms giving him the comfort that once belonged to another boy—her own.

Sen: Please… forgive me… I’m so sorry…

Maren (voice cracking): There’s nothing to forgive, Sen. You hear me? This wasn’t your fault…

Sen: I promised… I promised I’d protect him… I swore I would…

Arna: You don’t need to carry this, Sen… You did everything you could… I know you did… I know…

Sen’s face was buried between them now. There were no more words. No need. Only grief. Only love. Only three people, trying to survive a loss too big for any of them to hold alone… So, they stood, arms around each other, tears shared beneath a sky that had finally gone dark.

Past midnight, Sen sat alone atop a quiet hill on the outskirts of Clyden. The city lights blinked faintly in the distance, but here, there was only wind and silence. His hand, glowing faintly with soft light Intergy, worked into two smooth stones. Each motion was careful and deliberate, as if his fingers were afraid to forget.

He carved the name “Dain” into one stone, and “Yerah” into the other, the light etching deep grooves that shimmered gently in the dark. When he was done, he placed both stones into the earth, pressing them down until they stood firm. Then, with a quiet breath, he extended his palm and channeled Intergy into the ground, hardening the soil around the base, sealing the stones in place. It wasn’t much, but it was something.  Footsteps crunched softly through the grass behind him. Sen didn’t turn. He already knew. The presence was quiet and respectful unlike anyone else’s.

Josar approached slowly, stopping a few paces behind. He took in the sight of the two stones, the soft glow still fading from the etched names. His lips parted, but he chose not to speak right away. The moment didn’t need words yet—it needed reverence.

Josar (quietly): Hey… Didn’t know where you’d be, but I’m glad I finally found you.

Sen doesn’t reply.

Josar (taking a few steps closer): You made stones for them.

Still nothing from Sen. Josar takes a seat, keeping some distance between him and Sen.

Josar: The group was wondering where you were at. I think Esako went to see what Kyto is planning for next.

Sen: I don’t care.

The words came flat, tired, and hollow. Silence. Josar glanced at Sen, then looked up at the pale half-moon above.

Josar: Well… you spoke. Haven’t heard you say a word in a long while.

Sen: I don’t care about them. I don’t know Esako or Jaze. I don’t have any kind of attachment to them… and I could care less about anything Kyto wants.

Josar gives some time.

Josar: I understand.

Sen: Do you, Josar? Do you really?

Josar didn’t know what to say.

Sen: Why the hell are you even here? How the hell did you even find me? What do you want?

Josar didn’t flinch. He recognized the pain disguised as anger.

Josar: I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure you’re good.

Sen: I’m not. So, now you know. You can leave.

Josar doesn’t leave. He lets the silence sit between them.

Sen: Don’t think for one second I actually support Kyto. I just needed a way back home so I could reach Dain’s family. So, don’t say you understand. You don’t. I’m not helping any of you.

He stared down at the two stones, the etchings glowing faintly.

Josar: Then I guess we’re on the same page.

Sen’s eyes remained on the names.

Josar: I don’t want to support them either… and I’m not going to.

Sen opened his mouth halfway, then stopped. His chest tightened.

Josar: And no, I’m not going to support Aku either. I want out. I want to be done also.

Sen let out a quiet sigh, loud enough for Josar to hear his frustration. A minute of silence goes by, but the wind carried their pain gently.

Josar: I know this isn’t my place to ask… but if you’re comfortable with telling me… What were Dain and Yerah like?

Tears slipped out before he could stop them. Sen shut his eyes tight, as if squeezing them closed might hold everything in, but it was already too late. The weight of Josar’s question collapsed the dam. It wasn’t just grief. It was memory so beautiful, it hurt to hold.

Josar: Would it be alright if you remembered them with me?

Sen didn’t speak at first. The tears kept slipping through. He tried holding his breath. Minutes passed until he was finally able to regain some composure.

Josar: Silence is fine too. If you really don’t want me here, I can—

Sen (voice cracking): Dain was my best friend.

The words didn’t feel real until he heard himself say them aloud. It brought a fresh rush of tears.

Sen: And Yerah was the girl I hoped to be with after this was all over… and that was my fault.

Josar: Your fault?

Josar leaned slightly forward, voice soft.

Sen: My fault that I fell in love. I knew I wasn’t supposed to. Not in times like this… I knew. I knew, I knew, I knew… but I did anyways. I did this to me. No one else did. I did. All of this is my fault. It’s me… I hate me…

Each word was a knife turned inward. Sen finally opened his eyes, looking at the half-moon with blurred vision.

Sen: I should’ve been able to save Yerah. I was too scared to unleash everything I had because I was worried I might hurt her… and then when she died, it was already too late. If I understood myself better, maybe I could’ve saved her. I fell in love with someone I couldn’t protect… so that’s on me.

Josar remained silent.

Sen: And then I dragged Dain into my problems. I thought maybe with the both of us, we could get revenge… but instead I lost him too… Vengeance took over me, and the price was my brother. So yes, it’s my fault. I wasn’t good enough.

More silence. Minutes passed.

Josar: You tend to blame yourself too, huh?

Sen clenched his jaw.

Sen: Why? Do you think I’m looking at this wrong?

Josar: Are you asking me… for my thoughts?

Sen doesn’t reply. The silence was enough to answer yes.

Josar: I’m not going to fix this. I’m not going to fix you… but if you want to hear how I see things… You loved because that’s what you’re capable of. In these hard times, you still loved… and if love is a mistake, then I wish more people did it… because maybe then, we wouldn’t have to be here in the first place.

Sen gave a quiet, shaken sigh. It wasn’t a denial. It was the beginning of understanding.

Josar: And you say you weren’t good enough, but what if that’s not what they believed? Otherwise, Dain wouldn’t have fought by your side... Otherwise, Yerah wouldn’t have loved you back… I may not know them like you do, but they knew you enough to make their choices… and both of them chose you.

Sen closed his eyes once again, pushing away the tears. He wept as quietly as he could, and Josar sat there, listening silently. Then, Sen took another moment to look at Dain and Yerah’s names, carved into the stones.

Sen (softly): Dain was always the life of the group. Fire wasn’t just his ability… He was the fire that we needed to stay alive. He kept us pushing forward… He kept me pushing forward. Even as kids, I was always the one who’d whine and complain about everything, and he’d be the one to make jokes out of it so I could laugh.

Sen takes a slow breath.

Sen: Weird though because whenever we’d have deeper talks about life and this world, he’d seem like the pessimistic one… Even amongst the harsh reality of things, he’d find ways to look at life differently… I did enjoy our talks. Discussions with him always helped me grow to be a better version of myself. We’d argue all the time, not because we disagreed with each other, but because it was mental sparring.

Josar: You’d argue for fun?

Sen: You could say that. Like, we’d pick a topic, he’d argue one side, I’d argue the other, and then when we felt like it was enough, we’d switch sides. I don’t know exactly why we did it, but it was a good way for us to truly understand why we believed what we believed. I guess, it helped us find our moral grounds. It was good mental sparring.

Josar: Hm. Interesting.

Sen: Yeah… and we always kept each other accountable. Hated the gym at the beginning, but we got used to it after a while. The regular sparring was always good too. It always kept me aware of my dark and light abilities. Dain was overall just a good guy. He had such great parents too. After my parents died in a war… they took me in. No hesitation. They reminded me what it meant to be loved by a mom and dad. Not just fed or sheltered… loved. Dain had great parents.

Josar smiled gently.

Josar: Yeah. It sounds like it.

Sen: And Yerah was amazing. She’s from here too. I never met her family. She said she doesn’t really have one, but we did see her at the Clyden Training Center.

His voice softened. The mere mention of her brought a flicker of warmth to his eyes.

Sen: I don’t want to sound weird or anything, but I did have my eye on her for a little while. Didn’t do anything because I was too shy about it.

Josar lets out a quiet laugh that acknowledged shared humanity.

Sen: And then I guess she got recruited also, for this expedition to Krutone. So, of course, we got to know each other a bit more… And I have to say, Yerah was such a light.

Sen looked down, blinking away another tear. His hands rested loosely over his knees now.

Sen: Like, I know I can control light, but she was really a light. While Dain and I would have rather harsh outlooks on this world, she would try to offer a sweeter perspective… and I think I fell in love with her even more because of it. It felt warm… She felt warm…

He paused, as though his chest physically ached with the memory.

Sen: She had reasons to be bitter about her life, but she remained so positive. She sought out happiness… Yerah’s beautiful as it is, but seeing how beautiful she was within just hit different, you know?

Josar: They both seemed like really good people.

Josar’s voice came gently, almost reverently. He wasn’t just talking about them; he was honoring them through Sen’s eyes.

Sen: They were… They were what this world needed more of.

Sen quickly wiped another tear that slipped from his eye. Josar noticed and stayed silent, granting space instead of comfort.

Sen: They were what the world needed, and I was so lucky they were a part of my world.

His voice cracked on the last word—“my world.”

Sen continued to weep, covering his face in his knees. Josar watched, still keeping his distance and allowing Sen to be Sen.

The silence between them grew deeper, but never cold. It was the silence of presence. The silence of someone choosing not to leave.

Time passed. The wind whispered through the grass, the moon slid higher in the sky.

Sen (softly): Josar?

Josar: Hm?

Sen: Tell me about Aku.

Josar blinked, caught off guard by the request. He stiffened slightly. Of all things Sen could’ve said, that was the last he expected. His lips parted slightly, but no words came out.

Sen: What was my brother like? How was the orphanage for you both?

A heaviness fell between them. Josar exhaled slowly.

Josar: Aku was just a very misunderstood guy. I think you know the story already. He climbed the political ladder, not for himself, but for others… for change. He’s one of the most selfless guys I know… Even in this war, as crazy as it sounds, he’s committing self-sacrifice in the name of uniting everyone. Not the way I would go about it, but he’s doing it.

He paused, his eyes reflecting the moonlight, hollow and wondering.

Josar: In the orphanage, he would make sure everyone had food. When we got older, he’d give up his own meal if it meant a kid could be happy. It wasn’t like we were starving. We all ate. Just that, some days we had a smaller meal, and on those days, Aku looked out for the little ones. Like I said, selfless.

Josar smiled faintly… bittersweet.

Josar: Sicrus would make fun of Aku for it, and then follow Aku’s footsteps right after. The next thing you know, Sicrus is helping more than he ever thought he would. But that’s Sicrus for you.

Sen: Sicrus… What was he like?

Sen’s voice was curious now.

Josar: The follower. He and I would argue all the time. Not the way you and Dain debated, but Sicrus and I didn’t always see eye to eye. Still stayed friends somehow. More than likely because of Aku… But aside from all that, Sicrus is a good person. Very vocal… for someone who didn’t even believe he deserved to exist.

Sen: What does that mean?

Sen looked up, his brow furrowed slightly. The answer mattered.

Josar: Just in the way he carries himself. You can tell he wants to speak, so he’s loud… But he would rarely speak for himself, if that makes any sense.

Josar paused.

Josar: Well, unless it was against me for some reason. Maybe he just felt that comfortable around me, that his opinions finally carried through. I dunno. I will say he’s loyal though. Very loyal. Anytime Aku did something, he’d support. It was just a good thing that Aku chose to do good back then.

Josar’s gaze drifted toward the stars now. As if trying to see the past stitched into the sky.

Sen: Did you guys ever fight?

Josar: Who doesn’t? I’m sure you and Dain had some fights too.

Sen: Yeah. We did when we were kids.

Josar: Aku and I never really fought though. Just me and Sicrus. One time, we got into a whole debacle because there was this girl he liked.

Sen: Why was that a problem?

Josar: Well, that same girl liked me. I liked her too, but I just stayed quiet. 

Sen: Oh. Love triangle huh?

Josar: Yeah. It was a mess for a short while, but we were young. Turns out she kinda just left for a different kid in the same orphanage as us.

Sen: Wow…

Josar: Yeah. We got over it eventually.

Sen: Hm. That’s funny.

A brief moment of silence.

Sen: Was Aku rowdy as a kid like I was?

Josar: Not really. More like scared. Shy. I remember his first day, he was bullied. Sicrus and I saved him. After those bullies aged out, Aku sort of took over and tried everything he could to make things fair for all the other kids. He had some really good leadership qualities. I suppose that’s why he climbed the political ladder.

Sen: I remember you saying something about him wanting to earn his place back home… Did he really feel that way?

Josar: He did. Several nights he would wonder why you were kept and he was sent away. He’d never admit it hurt him, but the fact he would bring it up pretty much said he felt bad about being left behind. He thought he wasn’t worth keeping. I remember one night he said, “I’m going to earn my place back home. My family will love me. Count on it.” It was a bit hard to listen to at first, but I let it go because it was his driving force to help the kids in the orphanage… and maybe I should’ve just told him that he was loved all this time… That might’ve been enough to help him find his way back home.

Sen: You held back?

Josar: I did… because I was afraid of accidentally selling him a lie… And look at him now… I could’ve done something.

Sen: You tend to blame yourself too, huh?

Josar glanced at Sen and chuckled.

Josar: Good one.

A moment of silence. But this time, it was lighter. A moment shared in mutual understanding, not mutual grief.

Josar: Those two weren’t always this destructive. Aku wanted value… and Sicrus wanted purpose… and I suppose this is what you get as a result.

Sen: Well, what do you want?

Josar’s eyes widened slightly. The question felt heavier than expected.

Josar: Me?

Sen: Yeah. You said Aku wanted value, and Sicrus wanted purpose. What about you?

Josar thought. Really thought.

Josar: To be good…

Sen: Hmm…

Josar: What’s up?

Sen: That’s interesting. Dain and I used to talk about what it meant to be good. Yerah too.

Josar: Is that so?

Silence.

Sen: Yeah.

Josar: What did you all end up agreeing on?

Sen: It’s been a while, but it was something about just helping those that happen to be below us. It could be anything. Strength. Wealth. Power. I dunno. Some plain, feel-good answer. Not deep or anything. But… it felt right at the time.

Josar: I see.

Sen: What about you? What do you think it means to be good since you’re after it?

Josar: To be honest, I don’t know.

Sen: Hm. Seems like you might need some arguing too.

Josar: Debates, you mean?

Sen (slightly smiling): Sure.

They both smiled faintly, just for a second. Finally, a bridge between them was formed, built from shared suffering. More silence.

Josar: I just thought about something.

Sen: What is it?

Josar: I think we might all just be good people… We were just good people who got put against each other in a broken world that set us up for failure.

Sen looked down at the stones again. This time, not as symbols of death.

Sen: It’s really late.

Josar: You ready to head back?

Sen: Yeah…

As they rose, the wind swept gently across the hill. They walked, neither speaking, each lost in thoughts too heavy for words. The city lights shimmered faintly ahead, but neither looked at them. Their footsteps moved in quiet rhythm— two souls shaped by loss, and in the silence between them, something unspoken began to settle the beginning of understanding.